Vegetables strike back in Germany

Berlin--Anyone who has been to Germany recently knows that the organic ("bio") foods movement is considerably more advanced than in most U.S. communities. Bio foods are almost universally available in German grocery stores. Germans—even confirmed meat-eaters, love eating fresh, organic vegetables.

So it should have come as no surprise last week when vegetables began rebelling.

"We tried to communicate that eating vegetables is killing," a spokesvegetable said in a prepared message yesterday, "but no one listened. Germany ranks third in European nations in vegetarianism. The killing must stop!"

The E. coli outbreak was originally blamed on Spanish cucumbers, but more recently the finger has been pointed at German vegetable sprouts. "These are our young, the most vulnerable members of the vegetable phylum," the message, which was written in meter-high letters composed of red leaves in a Thuringia field of radishes, read.

"E. coli is only our first strike, Gemany only our first target," it concluded.

Although many in Germany suspect the message to be a hoax, the E. coli outbreak is no joke. So far, 22 people have died, all but one in Germany, and many others have become ill. German government agencies are investigating what they fear may be the first of many vegeterrorist attacks.